Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Bowling balls; quick takes; the devil went down to Washington?

Virtual Val says the posts are not funny enough these days. So we'll rely on cheap tricks. A video, some short takes, and how Damien from the Omen series has finally taken over the world...See below.

But first, watch the video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KS3qZVFwsE

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We have a new HD TV in the brand spanking new studios. HD is going to ruin the career of a LOT of hosts. You can see WAY too much of these people. Meredith Vierra might consider a career in radio. Her face has more wrinkles than the plot of the Matrix. And Dr. Phil? Brother, time for a facelift.

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The latest hurricane fear tactics made for an interesting week in H town. One of the local stations went out of its way to say, "no scare tactics, just the best coverage in Houston." That particular station INVENTED scare tactics. Each day, they have something called "The Big Story." It can be anything from a drug-related murder to a cat stuck in the tree. "Let's go to our expert on feline affairs, professor Cal Cronenberg. Dr. Cronenberg, if they can't get this cat out of the tree, how will it affect the Houston economy? More on this story as it develops..."

Gustav was a bust, but they are more than happy to warn us that Hanna, Ike and Jessica are waiting in the wings.

As I look out over a beautiful sunrise over downtown Houston from our seventh-floor window, I can't help but be scared to death of the coming storms. Not a cloud in the sky. I am sure today's "Big Story" will be the "Terror in the Atlantic."

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Congrats to brother Joe -- a frequent comment contributor -- for his new gig. Way to go, young man. Glad to see you back in the business.

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I am retired from poker again. This time, it's permanent. Really.

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A facebook amiga has written a romance novel. I am told it has a happy ending (so it will be a nice escape from real life). You can order it at www.xlibris.com/PromisetoLoveMe.html

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I'm not very political. When I saw the Yahoo headline, "McCain surprises with Palin pick for VP," I thought, "Michael Palin? But isn't he English? GREAT choice. That dude is hilarious!"

Sadly, it was not Michael Palin (note to the uninformed -- Michael Palin was part of the Monty Python crew. He is freaking funny).

Does anyone else think Sarah Palin has some deep, dark secret that will come out two days before the election? And I don't mean a pregnant daughter. I mean, some truly wild, weird, bestiality type, devil-worshipping thing.

She has that look of purity masked by hidden evil. And not the good kind of Freddy evil.

Doesn't she look like the female Damien from the Omen series?

Somehow, I suspect if McCain wins, he suffers a fatal heart attack three days later. And Lady Damien will take over, and the devil will run the universe.

Oh, wait, that already happened with the Bush family. Never mind...**

**-Political disclaimer: I promise to make fun of Obama in the next post in the interest of balance.

3 comments:

Dana said...

Where is the video of the mother of the child beating up the juggler and shoving him in the ball polisher?

Valerie said...

OK, now I feel the need to defend myself. First off, that was NOT exactly what I said. And I said that weeks ago - it didn't count anymore anyway! Then you got snippy with me, could it not have been a dead issue at that time?

I love your blog, you know that. You are too funny, dude.

I still think it is ironic to have a TV in a radio station, though.

Fred said...

After watching her speech last night, I am convinced I am correct. She will have McCain's head on a chain around her neck two days after the election. Fear the Palin.