Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Why Texas is special; A bong day's journey into night....

While most of America was partying during the Super Bowl, Uncle Freddy wept.
(And no, it's not because I am on a freaking diet and there was all kinds of great food going around).
Football season is over.
Life is no longer fun. This is like losing a family member. Or a pet.
Football is more than a game; more than a religion. It is a way of life.
And now, we have to go seven months without it.
So in this darkest hour of our darkest day, we offer random depressed musings to our friends all over the world...


Apparently, adultery is completely acceptable -- and, in fact, encouraged -- in my home state of Texas.

A Super Bowl ad for ashleymadison.com -- a married dating site -- was banned in every market in the country. But they showed it in Texas. Apparently, we are special. Either that, or so desperate for money we'll take any ad.

The site's catch phrase? "Life is short. Have an affair."

As you know by now, we don't judge in F World. (Unless we don't like you). We also don't get political.

Still, you have to wonder what's next....

Perhaps killahomeless.com? "Life is short. Whack a homeless guy. You will love it and you will be doing them a favor."

How about serialkiller.com? "Life is short. Kill as many people as possible without getting caught."

Or sexwithamonkey.com? "Life is short. So are you. Maybe a monkey will work better for you."

Getcaughtoncamerawithabong.com. "Life is short. Be like Mike. Phelps, that is."

Ah, nothing like living in Texas. Thanks, Ashley Madison. We needed the money.


Michael Phelps has money, fame and athletic success. He is dumber than a barrel of hair, but who cares? Three out of four ain't bad.

Michael likes to have a good time, and he's enjoying his stardom. He's 23 years old and he is going to make some mistakes.

Like hitting a bong in the middle of a party with people you don't know.

Yes, Michael is stupid for putting himself in that situation. But this being Texas and all, where everything is legal, the real idiot is the person taking the photo.

Why not blackmail Michael for more than a British tabloid would pay you?

Hmmm. blackmailmichaelphelps.com. "Life is short. Get as many bucks as you can taking advantage of a famous athlete's stupidity."


Please check out my Houston sports commentary at http://www.examiner.com/x-1519-Houston-Sports-Examiner. I really need to build that one up. It only does well when I piss people off.

And click on the ads. They pay for this blog.

I promise to get back to posting every day as soon as I get over my football depression.

And look for me on AshleyMadison.com as "hot21yearoldhtowngirl..."


Brandy Rose said...

I hope you've prepared yourself for the withdrawals from football. I expect you'll be getting fever, tremors, night sweats, lack of appetite, possibly some vomiting. Just remember you're not alone. :D

LWM said...

I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with this state. Eight months in Texas and I still have no idea.

Dana said...

OK...I clicked on your clown advertisement, dont know which is scarier..the Pink Haired Clown or the fact that there is a list of "Clown Party Rules".

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