Monday, February 23, 2009

And here we go...Marry me, Mr. Chimp

OK, still no decision on the future of this blog (see prior post). Maybe by Friday.

In the interim, some quick takes from the weekend:

1) Thank God they gave the best supporting actor to Heath Ledger. He was so transcendently brilliant in the Dark Knight that if those stuffed-shirt Academy freak shows had denied him...well, I would have dressed up like the joker, stalked them all, killed them in their sleep in a deviant way, and sent them on to the next world, where hopefully Heath would be waiting there to do it to them again. (Yes, I admit I am strangely drawn to Heath's portrayal of The Joker).

OK, maybe I would have dressed as the Gargoyle and done it.

I am still a little angry that The Dark Knight got screwed in general. After all, we wouldn't want popular movies that are dark and Freddy-like being rewarded. We should always reward weird movies with subtitles and fuzzy filming.

When your star has to die to get an Oscar...that seems to be a bit much.

Maybe I should whack them all anyway -- but dressed as a chimp.

(If you missed that story...have you been traveling in Anarctica? Hiding in a cave? Watching too much sports? Living on Facebook? Doing radio shows?)

Hey, why not a chimp for a husband? After all, that's where it was going. Are they really any different than men? They eat. They drink alcohol. They take Xanax. They burp, they sleep.

Then they maul your friends.

At least men just try to sleep with your friends.

OK, so give men a slight edge in that battle. But here's what we REALLY want to see:
*-Chimp vs. Pit Bull. I'm taking the chimp and the points.

Maybe that pet spider monkey I want to get isn't such a good idea after all...

(*I am joking. I have not gone all Michael Vick on you. No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog. Animals are our friends and should not be harmed. Then again, they also shouldn't be fed wine, given Xanax or dressed up like little boys. Especially when they are big enough to kill you).


Please drop by and say hello to Brandy and show some love.

And please click on the ads. (I can't wait to see what "chimp" and "spider monkey" bring! Especially since my recent posts brought an "elevator accident expert!." I wonder if he or she can protect me from freaks in the elevator...)

And gratuitous plug for my Examiner commentary, which is updated every day and I get paid per click so help a brother out. It struggles unless I tell people they are idiots. And people like me should not cast the first stone.


Brandy Rose said...

I'd go with the Gargoyle outfit. They might laugh at you in a chimp costume...just saying.

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