Wednesday, October 1, 2008

What's your Facebook status?...A prayer answered

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So, what's your Facebook status today?

One of the most interesting things about Facebook is you can put your status at the top of your page, and it will go to all your friends.

"Mindy is happy today."

"Dana is going to work."

"Sarah is running for Vice President."

That kind of thing.

My favorites are the people you hardly know putting up cryptic status messages that could mean anything. Especially if you do not religiously following their status.

"Jeffrey is much better today."

Really? I missed yesterday. I think I met Jeffrey at Taco Bell one day and he added me as a Facebook friend. I haven't talked to him since and probably never will again.

But now I am curious. What happened to Jeffrey that made him unhappy in the first place? Did he just have a bad day? Did his girlfriend leave him? Is his leprosy in remission? At least he is much better today.

I got this one recently:

"Elaine thanks all her friends for caring."

Really? But Elaine, what if I don't care? What is it I am supposed to care about? Did you husband leave you? Die? Or, worse yet, decide to stay with you?"

Damn. I just can't miss a day of updates.

What I would really like to see is Facebook status honesty day. For one day, everyone put what they are REALLY thinking on their status. Plenty of detail, and no BS.

Imagine the possibilities...

"Alex has been married for seven years, but he is really gay and would like nothing more than to do the sword dance with the bearded barista at the local Starbucks."

"Jenny is sick of her family and wishes they would all die so she could get the inheritance."

"Lisa loves her husband, but she is proud to announce she has now slept with 17 of her 20 male Facebook friends, and the other three are gay."

"Brad thinks his girlfriend Sarah needs to drop 20 pounds."

"Sarah thinks Brad needs penis enlargement surgery and could use a few hours in the gym himself."

"Steve thinks it is pathetic that he spends so much time on Faceboook and has to flirt with virtual women who are probably uglier than the skanks he dates when he actually goes out."

"Linda thinks Steve's photo is shot from an angle that makes him weigh somewhat less than the 350 he's probably packing."

"Sophia says yes, my photo is hyper hot. It's a super model I pulled off a Web site. I am really a 55-year-old homosexual pedophile named Stanley Rubenstein and this is how I feel special."

"Sarah is running for Vice President. But she is really the Anti-Christ and will kill her running mate four days after he is elected and rule the free world."

I think this would be MUCH more fun. What do you think? Give me your favorite real ones and ones you would like to see. Either sell out your friends or don't.

Oh, and my honesty status?

"Fred is tired, hung over/drunk (depending on the time of day), broke and struggling to come up with a funny blog entry and can't understand why anyone would give a rat's ass about his status."

---------------------------------------------

To Katie Faour on Oct. 1

Happy birthday. I can’t believe you are already 7. It seems like yesterday I was sitting in Texas Children’s, watching a tiny, scared little infant struggle to breathe. I prayed more then than I ever have back then.

That you would grow up to live a happy life.

That you would be a healthy, happy child.

That you would be OK.

Today, you are a beautiful, brilliant little person. So full of life. So full of attitude. Seven years old going on 18.

Everyone says their children are perfect. Mine truly are. Even if their parents aren’t.

But I also prayed back then that if you made it, you would be the best of both of us.

You are that, and much more.

More than anything, you are an answered prayer. You are proof that God exists.

No matter how bad things get, I can look at you and know that my prayers – the most important of my life -- were answered.

Happy birthday, Katie Faour. Your dad loves you more than you know.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I was truly honest some days I would end up in jail or the loony bin! Most of the time I am just too boring to have an interesting status. -Hu

Anonymous said...

"Why is Fred not on MySpace?", that's what I put on my MySpace, which is a great forum for ex-girlfriends and future exes to keep track of us!?

Anonymous said...

What I wouldn't give to have heard my father say something like that to me even after I was grown. Katie will always know how you feel about her and that is something that money cannot buy. You rock dude!

Joe Rutland said...

You are an incredible man whose strength, courage and love for his children knows no bounds. Fred -- I am glad that YOU are where you are and NOT where you used to be. You have your "Get Out Of Jail Free" card anytime you wanna use it, bud.

Grace and peace -- Joe

Anonymous said...

Freddie, we love YOU more than you know. Come have hot pot with us tomorrow for dinner.

Trish

The Soviet said...

i can vouch for alex. he's on my team.