Thursday, November 20, 2008

How about giving me some head...lines?

I am asked all the time if I miss working at a newspaper. My standard answer is I miss the people, not the place. As time goes on, I don't miss as many of the people as I used to, either. Guess that is natural. (*If you think I am talking about you, I am probably not. If you think I don't mean you, I do.)
*-I am just kidding. Please don't email and say, "do you mean me? You people are more paranoid than I am.

There is one thing I wish I could have back, however. One great regret. One thing I miss above all else.

Stupid headline mistakes.

There are millions of them around the world. Many great blogs make a career out of these. Here are a few I like. I am sure my former colleagues will have many to contribute.

Here are a few of my favorites from my days at the Chron. Some made the paper, some didn't.

1 -- "Brenham caught with Peters out."
Brenham had a player whose last name was Peters, and he was injured. Of course, that's not how it reads. It reads like an exposure case. The great irony? The same player was later allegedly caught on a recruiting trip, um, spanking his monkey* in a dorm hall.

*-see post on euphemisms.

2 -- "Man arrested after 20 years on lamb."
This is one of Paul McGrath's longtime favorites. That has to be one sore lamb.

3 -- "It's nut-cutting time for Kentucky."
All I can say is "ouch." Really. In Kentucky, that usually means geldings. Poor guys. Amazing how the meaning changes when you put a "u" in where there should be an "e."

4 -- "After 10 years, Johnson finally gets head job."
Poor guy. He must have been married all that time.

5 -- "Cowboys Sanders to miss three weeks with bulging dick in back."
Ah, typos. Obviously, Deion was a transcendent football player. But an extra package?
Guess that makes threesomes easier. Or maybe it was inserted.
Ugh. We learned to be careful with bulging discs.

Just this week, several headlines caught my eye for different reasons. "Sex in retirement homes becoming a problem." What, are they breaking hips at a record pace? "Death ends 15-year relationship." Damn dirty death.

Trish the superbabe pointed me to a great blog that has several (page 6: "Chick accuses some male colleagues of sexism" is one of my favorites.)

OK, I'm challenging everyone to give me their favorites. Best of the best wins some 97.5 gear.

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min said...

This was from a few years back when Tommy Thompson was the Governor of Wisconsin.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel:

Obviously, it should have read,

Brandy Rose said...

My husband especially enjoyed your head...line. :P

Tara@Sticky Fingers said...

Hey there, just stumbled here from, err, I have no idea now! But saw this head line and had to chuckle.
I have worked on British newspapers for 20 odd years and have seen some belters in my time.

How about:
Man killed by telephone box (clearly 'next to' was one word too many to fit)

Red tape holds up new town hall

Stolen tractor found by town statue (presumably a statue of Sherlock Holmes?)

Em said...

I'm about three weeks behind everyone else, but:

"As Obama gets huge election, The earth moves."

Our Brit smutrags obviously thought this was a clever play on words.

It isn't.

It doesn't even make sense.

The worst part is that they did it on purpose. *sigh*

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