Friday, March 19, 2010

Five random thoughts from the Falcon...

Don't fear the Falcon.


Spring break is winding down. The NCAA Tournament is heating up. And The Blitz is trying to put Matt Dean in a loin cloth. (OK, so that third one doesn't fit. This is the kind of random thing that happens when people talk you into trying margaritas with beers sticking in them. More on that shortly.)

Regardless, it's time for some random observations.

First, however, a few words from our sponsors:

*Please join us on Mondays at Sam Houston Race Park for The Blitz from 1-4. The Greatest Show in the History of the Known Universe will be there two more weeks in March. Come out and enjoy great racing, $1 draft beer specials and an opportunity to win a dollar by being the first to hit me on the head.

*Please join our Blitz Facebook page. If we are ahead of The Drive by Monday at 4 p.m., Matt The Superstar will wear a loin cloth in studio. It promises to be amusing if not pretty.

Now, on with the show...

For the first time in forever, Spring break actually means something to me. I never took one in college (working), and until I started teaching this semester, it never meant anything to me other than having to find babysitters for the kiddos. However, a week off from the school has shown me just how much I missed all those years.

(Yes, I still had to do radio all week, but is that really work?)

Anyway, five observations from an old man's first spring break in forever:

1) Spotted Dick is not something you get when you fail to wear the proper protection. Jockey Paul Nolan, who is from England, joined us Monday and we reset his love for Spotted Dick. And no, I will not be putting Spotted Dick in my mouth at anytime, even though Paul is the leading rider at the track. It is a delicacy perhaps best tried on spring break. But not by me.

2) This has nothing to do with spring break, but strange men hanging out near a playground with a cane and a sign that says "you must be this tall to ride" should be reported to the authorities immediately. No more details necessary.

3) Finding a bar that shows all the games and drinking all day is a moral imperative on the first day of the NCAA Tournament. In fact, it is a much bigger deal than St. Patrick's Day. This year, if you played it off right, you could have done both. Overdo it on green beer Wednesday night, call in sick Thursday and spend all day watching the games. It requires skill, stamina, and...well the touch of a degenerate. It is the sports fan's version of spring break.

4) The idea of Matt Dean in a thong came after several of these and a weird flashback to a Ted Nugent concert. Why is it everything seems like a good idea when tequila is involved? And why is it I always have dreams involving talking cats afterward? Isn't spring break sponsored by Tequila?

5) Finally, if for some reason you are having a bad day, overdid it on St Patty's Day, being stalked by the guy with the cane or having dreams about talking cats, try this site for a good laugh.

And lay off the tequila. School starts again on Monday.

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