Wednesday, August 20, 2008

0 Canada no more; Are you kidding, J Lo?

First, again, my apologies on the delay on the latest post. We had quite a few shows last week, and frankly, I haven't felt very creative.

Quick update on the medals: How about those Canadians? You guys are no longer Togo's bee-yatch!

Canada has 13 medals now! After I made fun of our furry little friends to the north, they put up a 7-spot last weekend. Of course, most of those were for ROWING, but hey...

And England...wow! Fourth now with 37! The English have passed our friends the Aussies (36). My adopted countries are kicking butt!

And while Russia has just 45, if you added together all the old Soviet Republics....well, let's just say the medal lead would be back in the USSR.

Honestly, that's all that's left to these Olympics; watching the U.S. basketball team spank everybody and counting the medals. Michael Phelps stole the whole show. Everything that happens now is anticlimactic.

Except for Jennifer Lopez.

J-Lo.

My favorite Olympic story isn't the Olympics at all.

It's J-Lo, who in an interview couldn't understand why "That Swimmer" was getting all the attention. She, after all, was training for a triathlon, just six months after having a child. SHE should be the story. Why is everyone so interested in "that swimmer?"

This is the same woman who insured her butt.

I'd really love to rip this self-absorbed windbag. But sadly, she is just a symptom of something I see every day; ridiculously self-absorbed people who think they are the center of the universe and no one else matters.

It's everywhere. I guess I have always been a little naive. I always think people care about people. I got jaded a little at the old place; I worked with a lot of J-Los. I knew it at the time, but it was reinforced when I left. People are your friends as long as you can help them, or as long as you can do something for them, or they PERCEIVE you can do something for them. They really don't care about people unless they can benefit from them. Sadly, that's everywhere I go these days.

There are still good folks out there; in fact, if you are reading this, there is a 98 percent chance you ain't a J-Lo. I know some wonderful people who really do think about others first. I guess I thought everybody was like that.

I was...uh...what's that word? Er...incorrect?

No worries. I'd rather spend my life dealing with Teddy KGBs. Ruthless, but honest.

"He beat me. Fair and square. Pay that man his money."

(I love Teddy KGB. In my next life, that's who I want to be).

What bothers me is that the J-Lo's are the ones who seem to be successful in life. They are the ones who are the card magnets; they get pocket aces against our kings. Or if we have aces against their kings, they flop a set and take our chips. No wonder it is always about them. No wonder we don't matter to them. No wonder we are all "the swimmer."

Wow, that sure seems like a serious point, doesn't it? I promised no more serious. So here is an old joke, one of my favorites...

How do you get a witch pregnant?

You f**k her.

I didn't say it was a good joke...

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Three quick takes:

1 -- Watched Scotty Nguyen win the H.O.R.S.E on TV last night. I love Scotty, but he was way out of line, and acted like a complete jerk. I know I do that at the table sometimes, and I think I learned a valuable lesson. Don't expect to see me do that again. (C-squared, up to you to make sure I live up to that!)

2 -- Bet the over on the Texans winning more than 7 1/2. Been to two practices this week...this team will surprise people. If Chris Brown stays healthy at RB...they will be sick!

3 -- Chance favors the prepared mind.

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I am considering doing something radical and moving to another country. Where would I fit best?

Please vote. Australia, England, Canada, Syria and Borneo are your choices...See the poll at the bottom of the page...

4 comments:

Patricia D'Licia said...

Dear Freddy,
Thank god someone has finally addressed this critical topic. Who the hell do these self important bimbos think they are? The center of the universe? Pshaw.

I am the center of the universe. Where do they get the nerve to consider any other possibility.

Oh yeah, what have YOU done for me lately??

Trish

PS: Bern says you should move to Dubai. His reasoning is complex... I think I;ll let him address it, other than this quote: "Freddy couldn't make it in Borneo, let's not pretend."

Joe said...

Hey pal, according to that poll at the bottom of your blog, I was the first person to actually vote.

I voted for England. You would fit jolly good in that old land. Hey, maybe you could learn to enjoy football ... err ... soccer ... err, I mean English Premier League Soccer. Nothing better than watching Manchester United and Nottingham Forest duke it out. Now when I have cable TV again, maybe I'll watch a game or two.

Bon voyage!!!!

Grace and peace -- Joe

Chris C (double C) said...

J-Lo isn't hot! J-Alba is hot! J-Simpson is hot! J-Jameson is a slut!

You know I'll hold you to it! I didnt catch the HORSE tourney yet. Scotty blew up? Wow, used to seeing Matusow, Hellmuth and even Menh the Master but Scotty? We'll see how you fare tonight when I suck out with 68 suited;).

Move to Canada! It's still North America, free medical I think and the CFL;).

Pat said...

ok, so where's the "what's wrong with here" box to click on?