Thanks to Brandy, we are playing Q&A

One of my favorite virtual amigas is Awesome Brandy, who has a TERRIFIC blog. (Hint to the non-Internet savvy: click on that link and it takes you right to it. Clever, huh? And click on the google ads for both of us, please.) When I begged for help on Facebook, she suggested a meme -- a Q&A between bloggers. The beauty of it was she didn't know if I was serious and I didn't know if she was serious. Which is a perfect reason to do it. (I'm guessing her answers will be much funnier. I will be sending her questions shortly).

Hopefully you will find this one amusing. And be sure to thank Brandy -- she spared you a poignant, depressing ramble that was coming on the heels of some brutally bad news that will likely spell the end of Freddy's World as we know it.

(Fortunately that will wait until another day).

Remember, these are her questions. She allegedly had a collaborator. The answers are mine. (See how easy it is to be a blogger?)

As The Joker says...

Here...

we...

go!

Question 1: Where did your unnatural fascination with creepy clowns come from?

Answer: Those clowns are sexy, not creepy! And it started with Poltergeist, of course. Wasn't that clown the coolest ever? And I WILL be a clown next Halloween. Well, DRESSED as a clown, as it were. A scary, sexy clown.

2. If you were a monkey, what kind would you be?

A: A spider monkey, of course. With the um, er, "equipment" of a gorilla.

3. If you could have an alias of your choosing, what would it be and why?

A: I would be The Gargoyle, a polite criminal with a dazzling English accent. (Think Geico lizard). The Gargoyle would be a bank robber dressed as -- of course, a gargoyle (a fat one though, since I would be covered in kevlar).

The Gargoyle would bring back the gentleman-like, Romantic criminal mindset of the Old West (Think Owen Wilson in the Shanghai movies) and casually flirt with all the women as he robbed the bank, then disappeared in a cloud of knockout gas that puts everyone to sleep.

Except me, of course, because my Gargoyle face would be equipped with a gas mask.

Never mind the gas; my blog is putting everyone to sleep...

4. What is your worst bad habit?

A: I am VERY good at ALL of my bad habits.

5. What is your favorite item in the world? Why?

A: A little box with my name on it my kids gave me for father's day once. It reminds me that I didn't always suck as a human being. Damn, that seems like a long time ago. Help, funny question, please! I am being sucked into a poignant moment! Aaaaargggghhh!!!

6. If you hate the usage of U's (as the rest of the English-speaking world uses them) How come you spell your name FaoUr?

A: Faour is a majestic name of Syrian/Lebanese descent. Some of the greatest Iraqi generals under Hussein (OK, one) shared that name. It is an honorable name, rare with its three consecutive vowels. I love the name. (Although "Freddy...a.k.a. The Gargoyle" has a nice ring).

I HATE u's in words that don't need them. Humour, for instance. It's HUMOR, dammit. Not HU-MO-U-R!

7. Are the freaks attracted to you, or is it really that you are attracted to freaks?

A: Yes

8. How do you deal with a troll...I mean, negative person?

A: Try to make them laugh. Failing that, laugh at them (then duck). Face it: in life, there are only three types of people. Cool folks, trolls and Politicians. I laugh WITH the first, AT the second and run like hell from the third.

9. Can you guess the collaborator of this questionnaire?

A: It's either Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush, Alex Rodriguez, Ronaldinho, Pope Benedict, Michael Jackson or Kermit the Frog. (Didn't think I could get those seven in a single sentence fragment, did you?)

10. Have you enjoyed this meme (Q & A chainletter like thing for bloggers...however this one being specifically for you...)?

A: Hell yes! Spared me from coming up with another idea! And spared everyone else a poignant look at life that would have depressed all of us.

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So there you have it. Check out Brandy's blog for hers. (Linky thing again! Cool! Don't you love the constant, shameless plugs for Brandy's blog? It's called Slapdash Thinking. Check it out by clicking here!).