Some updates...why you should vote for Fred

Sorry for the delay in posting. I have been spending a lot of time working on the Ticket's Web site and also the examiner blog (http://www.examiner.com/x-1519-Houston-Sports-Examiner) and this one has suffered. I promise to get caught back up this week.

In the interim, please visit the advertisers on this page. They pay for the blog. And check out the examiner blog; I get paid per view there. It's a great blog if you like Houston sports. If not, click on it and comment anyway and help a brother out.

Fun stuff is coming on this blog. Sometime this week, I will have something on how even though we all speak the same language (theoretically), the English, Aussies, Americans and Canadians all need translators for each other.

Also, some new fiction in the works. I had a Halloween story called Night of the Living Old Yeller. Didn't get it done in time for Halloween, but it is almost finished and it is as disturbing as it sounds.

I am also working on a new super villain series.

On the radio front, we'll be filling in for Calvin Murphy on 11/4, 11/5, 11/6 and 11/11. That's prime time, 5-7 p.m. Central. You can hear us on the Web site at www.975theticket.com. It promises to be entertaining, so please check it out.

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So it's Election Day in America. Please get out and vote.

It doesn't matter whether or not you vote for the guy who says nothing or the old chipmunk looking dude who had to pick a hottie as a running mate to have any shot. Just vote.

The next election, however, I will be running for president as head of the Degenerate party.

I ask for your support.

Unlike my future opponents (the incumbent Obama and Palin the she-devil, who will run on her own in four years), I am not going to resort to ducking the issues and relying on my good looks to get elected.

I will not resort to negative campaigning.

However, I might have to point out a few facts.

I will mention that Obama is just a pretty face with the personality of a sponge.

I will mention that Palin sounds like she missed out on the lead in Fargo but that she did star in Damien Omen III as Damien.

I might even have to reveal that they had a little-known affair, and are secretly into each other in a big way.

And that they were both sexually involved with different farm animals, too. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but is this who we want leading our country?

No, this will be about me.

I promise no taxes whatsoever. We will get our money by initiating a national lottery and tax, er, collect from you that way.

I promise more national parties. No, not Dems and Republicans. Real parties, with circus midgets, trapezes, and Palin in a teddy.

We will also run the country like a college football program. In fact, just like the University of Texas.

Because of that, I promise we will invade Canada. (Nothing personal, Canada. We will leave right after we invade. We don't want to keep you.).

But we do need an easy win to help our BCS rankings. Iraq was tougher than expected. They took us to the wire. China is gaining points on us. We need to pad our stats.

Canada is like Baylor -- we need a rout to feel better about ourselves. We will pull the starters once we get a big lead. Really.

And finally, I will legalize poker in all states, eliminate the death penalty (except for people who annoy us) and decree that football must be played year round.

And I promise some pot for every chicken.

Or something like that.

Regardless, join the Degenerate party, and vote for Fred.