OK, you were promised freaks.
So meet the new man in my life: Trevor.
Thanks to Will and Katie, my reputation is tarnished. Trevor is my new "special friend."
This is how rumors get started: Kids talking to their friends about "Trevor" and not being specific. Some of their friends think Trevor is a dog. Some think he is daddy's new live-in friend.
Some think he is the weird freaky uncle.
Well, he is weird. Temperamental. Demanding.
Trevor is a GPS system.
For some reason, the kids chose to name his Trevor, perhaps because of his vaguely English voice.
They talk back to him. They make fun of his pronunciations. They get excited when he gives directions on how to get home. But they keep Trevor's true identity a secret.
So now some parents think I have a "friend." Of course, the kiddos -- being my offspring -- aren't discouraging this at all, because they think it's funny.
Trevor, meanwhile, is getting moody. He doesn't always give the route immediately. He sometimes wants to send me off in the wrong direction and gets nasty when I disagree with him. (Should I be surprised? He was a gift from Val...)
Being a man, of course I rarely ask him for directions anyway, which is starting to cause some trouble in paradise.
Fortunately, Trevor's voice can be adjusted. A sex change may be in order.
Maybe that will save the relationship.
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I am encouraged that our country is rallying enough that the president can spend a chunk of his day filling out an NCAA bracket for ESPN. I take this as an positive sign that he has this president thing down and has time to enjoy basketball with the rest of us.
So if Obama can do it, so can Trevor. He picks Memphis over North Carolina in the title game.
And he bought me a nice smoking jacket...
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5 comments:
If you ever need advice about how to keep things "exciting" with your "friend", not that there's anything wrong with that, stop by http://lovefoollane.com
A certain sports writer you know named Kevin doles out love advice as the "Love Fool" which is somewhat questionable. Anyways I'll put you on my blog links.
The Fool
So, if Trevor gets a sex change, do we get to pick "her" name?
You should download Dr. Nightmare. I think that would fit you perfectly.
OK, I read how I worded that, and I see it doesn't sound good :-). I MEANT that you would enjoy Dr. Nightmare.
Our GPS is known as "Girlfriend". We are very nice to her and she is pretty good to us. I do, however, wish she had a "Shhhh" button. Like when I KNOW I am going an alternate route she wants to tell me non-stop about how she is "realculating". .. I try to say "Shhh baby, dont spoil it by talking just now. . ." But she just keeps on with the "Recalculating". .
My boss, a very balanced, pleasant and educated man, has a GPS named 'Garmina'. He is verbally abusive to her. I have NEVER heard this man utter a curse word in the office, but sat in horror as he called Garmina a bitch and threatened to unplug her is she didnt shut the hell up.
I have not witnessed this type of relationship between people in technology. Why do we bond with our GPS units differently than we do with our iPods?
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